12 Ideas to Prevent Parenting Burnout

Particularly for children with mental health issues

Apr 17, 2025

Sometimes wisdom is right beneath our noses.

Parenting is hard work, and meeting the emotional needs of your child, particularly when there is a mental health struggle it can be quite … extra.

I’m a huge fan and believer of the practice of metta - loving kindness as a tool for putting my oxygen mask on first, and today I have a few more ideas that might be helpful to maintain or strengthen your relationship with your child, whether they by young or an adult.

First of all, you are putting in a lot of effort, and it’s good to acknowledge that. Maybe your child is at risk, struggling, or making less progress than their peers. Try to let some of that go and accept that they are where they need to be, and it will change.

How can you keep going without becoming exhausted?

Make a list of your child’s core strengths - Write down all of their good qualities, even if you haven’t seen them lately.
Example: “Today, I saw a beautiful wall of graffiti art and it reminded me of the time we went to the art store and bought some cans of paint. You are so creative, and I’ve always enjoyed seeing you find new ways to express yourself.” If they respond with something like, “Yeah, I don’t do that anymore.” You can respond with, “Oh, that’s ok, maybe you’ll feel like doing it again in the future.”
Recall fun and funny times - Recalling a humorous story from a family memory can help everyone feel connected. Maybe cute and funny baby stories, elementary school events, or a time when you embarrassed yourself - anything to get laughing and recalling that good times do happen. I try to remember to show my son the time I was dancing with his sister to the song “Cherry Bomb” by The Runaways and fell right on cue like a ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb. It’s a great video replay that gets a smile every time.
Practice simple acts of kindness - Since my son is 23, I don’t find it necessary to cook as much because he does his own grocery shopping. An act of love or kindness I like to portray is by cooking a favorite meal he likes like homemade chicken matzo ball soup or shrimp with linguini. Sometimes, I ask him if he wants to get a coffee together and treat him to a mocha. There’s more kindness ideas than food of course but I’m a Jewish mama what can I say?
Smile when he walks in the room - Greeting my son with a smile and excitement usually snaps him out of whatever might be on his mind to invite both of us to connect in the heart space. Inducing a relaxed atmosphere might allow for a conversation to flow.
Grow your empathy - When we are attune to our own internal weather, stormy or calm it have an impact on the energetic exchange. Consider that when you’re feeling overwhelmed, you might consider how your son or daughter feels on a daily basis with a different skill set. Remember how you felt the last time you were filled with anxiety?
Touch base - When I realize I haven’t hugged my child in a few days, I ask permission if I can give him a hug. I make sure to squeeze him and jokingly demand that we hug for 7 seconds even if his body tenses up, I see a little smile.
Frustration can be reframed as a puzzle to be solved - I always fall back on impermanence when I can’t find a solution. Sometimes not knowing the answers simply means you haven’t figured it out yet. All will eventually be revealed through your research and partnership with other parents and support team.

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Feel what you feel - In my meditative practice, it gives me alone time to rest quietly so I can feel my feelings instead of being dialed up in “doing or striving” mode. Grief can be pushed down for only so long and allowing to soften into knowing that there is a loss. A loss of what you had hoped for your child and family and what the illness or diagnosis has done to them. It is possible to hold two things at once - anger and love.
Gratitude - I know, you know. Writing down a daily list will prove that life is abundant despite the grief and challenges.
Awareness of your reactions to their behavior - I know I have been known to fly off the handle when my son’s doctor doesn’t refill his prescription. It triggers memories of panic when a pharmacist refused to refill it or when my son forgot to take it for a few days and became symptomatic. My heart begins to race and I go into control and fix it mode. This is all my responsibility to respond differently. We’ve come so far and these events rarely occur. I remember that we got through it before and we can get through it again.
Connect with others - Parent support is super important. I attend two different groups offering different things. You are not alone. I am now putting together sessions for parents leading practices and tools and opportunities to witness one another. The burden of secrecy isn’t necessary. JOIN ME! :)
Don’t take your child’s behavior personally - They may have new characteristics to their personalities now that they are developing with their diagnosis. We are their targets because we are the “safe” ones they can act out on. Remember when your toddler would get home and cry for hours after holding it together all day being away from you? Young adults can be impulsive, angry and it could be the illness talking. Say to yourself, “My love is deeper than your pain.”

This list was adapted from the Child Mind Institute.

Join me for a 4-week Conscious Parenting gathering

Beginning MAY 11 at 9am PT - 10am PT - $100 per household (both parents encouraged to attend)

I will be including spiritual teachings as an offering to reframe and open our hearts to the practical wisdom we all have within. See more in the post below.

We will cover the following on 4 Sundays:

Loving-kindness towards oneself
Loving-kindness towards your child
Loving-kindness towards oneself
Loving-kindness toward your child

Alternating in this way will allow us to find a new depth in our relationship with ourselves and our child. Energetically, things will shift and expand through a brief dharma talk, some curated words from spiritual teachings and then we will practice.