Meditation is like taming the puppy and the dragon
Inner critic, obsessive mind, and metta
I hunger for moments when I’m not obsessed with planning, analyzing, judging, or striving. I want my mind to quiet down so my heart can speak. Only then will wisdom arise from the well of my being—from the root attached to the earth down beneath the soil, the stones and pebbles, down to intertwine with the roots of the other trees that stand so stoic and strong.
If, by chance, my mind is quiet enough, perhaps I will hear some choice words from an angel or ancestor. I would then be validated in my practice. That in itself is working towards something, striving and not the goal of meditation. However, it encourages me and enthralls me to continue! For example, when I hear the name Raphael in my mind and then pull a healing angel card with the green light, I can’t help but get excited to know that I am not alone in my practice.
Human nature is a force not to wrestle with, yet we do. We wrestle like a puppy with our minds, coaxing them to come back for a treat, rolling around playfully, snipping at the air, hoping to get a grasp of something to control. Or maybe our minds are like dragons, full of hot air and fire, ready to go into battle to wield power on whatever thoughts come our way.
How do we tame the puppy and the dragon that lives within us? Which one are you today? Maybe a little of both?
If we settle like stoic trees in the meditation practice, imagining ourselves like massive old oak trees with roots of wisdom, are we forgetting about the branches and leaves that branch out, thirsting for the sun for nourishment?
Where is the reconciliation of both/and?
In meditation, we can be relaxed and alert, soft and strong, rested and tired, happy and sad, striving and calm. I remind my students that it is a practice. It’s in the noticing where the juice lies. Noticing the beauty of this complexity of humanness with more compassion is a great act of love for oneself. Love, and when we give love to ourselves, we heal; and then we can give it to others with authenticity and without expectations.
Do we need to heal? Why do we need to heal? Does everyone have healing to do?
We have a co-creation of pain that can be healed in co-creation. The simmering of pain is like the simmering of grief; you never know when it will show up in our interactions with others, the dragon of ego spawning the flame to bury the fear of pain’s infliction. It’s been said that grief is love with nowhere to go. Is that the same as pain? Maybe it’s self-love that has nowhere to go or even recognizing that it’s needed.
Possible Things to Heal From:
Mean kids growing up at various ages
Cutting words from parents that were or were not for your own good
Being awkward and doing embarrassing things
Ignoring your inner voice
Not feeling worthy or good enough
Not meeting parents expectations
Not meeting expectations of self as a parent, spouse, friend, relative
Being mean to others and saying regrettable words
A Divorce
Rejection at various turns from friends, family, jobs, spouse
Sexual assault, violence of any kind
There is so much dukka to heal from! We are faced with this “not good enough” at every turn, with endless messages of self-improvement in conversations, podcasts, movies, books, advertising, and other forms of communication. It’s exhausting. Let’s stop betraying ourselves. Taming our inner critic can soften our thinking minds and perhaps dampen its protest and criticism, even if for a little while.
Our emotional bodies are as real as our physical bodies.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve unhealthy patterns because it lessens our harm to ourselves and others. Changing these patterns into self-care and warmth will trickle over into self-respect for self and others. No more loathsome behavior as we self-tame through the practice. Everyone, including you, is doing the best you can. Maybe that’s the only mantra you need, “I am doing the best I can right now.”
There is something about connecting to our soft body within to remember the beauty, hope, and all the things that make life beautiful. The mirror begins to reflect in every interaction and experience, taming the hunger for the need for anything to be different. Life is where connection meets authenticity, and only then can we hear the still, small voice within cheering us on with love.
May your practice be kind and soft.
Namaste.
Are you ready to practice with me?
With your annual subscription of only $50/year or $5/per month, I am offering a three-class online meditation series. This will be an intimate practice of learning metta or loving-kindness. I have never taught a series of metta, and I am very excited to bring it to you.
It is for all levels and begins mid-May, so sign up now.
Book Previews
I’m writing a book! Putting that in writing makes it so official and scary! I’ve had some great feedback from an editor and support from my writing group that is pushing me forward.
If you would like to read previews of my book, it is free with a paid subscription and you will get a chance to have input. My readers are important to me and I want to know what you think. You will be my witness of my shitty first draft!
Here’s a possible book flap idea to give you a sense of what it is about:
A compassionate, heartrending memoir of a mother’s quest to accept her son’s journey through psychosis.
On Thanksgiving in 2015, 3,000 miles from home, Shelley found her son alone on the couch trapped in an endless world of inner conversations. He had suffered a psychotic break. The experience began a two-year long journey to understand what had happened and how he could be helped - at a crucial time in an adolescent’s life.
This riveting story of a mother going to war for her son, trying to protect him from stigma as she searched for the cause and treatment for his schizophrenia.
With tenderness and candor and drawing from spiritual wisdom, this compelling story expands the power of a mothers love as it reframes a mental illness and points toward the potential for recovery.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month
Here’s a recent piece I reported on for the “Giving Caregivers a Platform” series I am writing for Mad in America. It is a story of recovery and the relationship between mother and son.
There are so many who need to tell their story and I already have two more lined up. I look forward to bringing them to you. Increasing awareness, reducing stigma and catalyzing hope for recovery while telling these stories is of utmost importance in my writing. And maybe change the idea that mental illness has to be a life sentence in the process.
Thank you, Reader. I appreciate you!