My Mindfulness Practice has Been Rocky
For the sake of humanity, more kindness! We need one another.
Enjoy this poem by Hafiz as an introduction and a brief time to breathe into presence.
My practice has been sh*t lately. I wake early, trying not to doom scroll, which lately takes a serious effort, make the coffee, and sit in the chair or cushion to write the Morning Pages and meditate. It’s a routine embedded in my life as I have cultivated this practice more seriously for the last four years.
At the moment, it hasn’t been working out very well. I’ve been fooling myself, thinking I’ve meditated, but I haven’t. I’ve been lost in the spiral of existential doom between trying to be aware just enough of what’s happening in the greater world and getting back into my bubble, and it’s simply not working. And frankly, my health has not been good as I move into perimenopause like a bullet train toppling down the bridge that connects two mountains into the cavernous water below. In the grand scheme of time, it’s been about 3.5 months of health and mental health challenges and my body is ready to move again. Blending Western and Eastern has always been a steady friend in my book, and thankfully, I’ve got some powerhouse women behind me who are helping me navigate my unique body back to good health.
Now for the mind. Being an empath is not easy.
The era of sweeping shit under the rug is OVER. Folks need to be uncomfortable, and we certainly are faced with this uncertainty, hate, and darkness day after day. There are days when I don’t feel safe as I watch the hate rise like a tidal wave into bullying ignorance. This is fueling the very thing those in power want: to continue to feed into the need for separation with fighting and righteousness. Nothing will ever intimidate me from being a woman born into the Jewish people. Because of the pain and the energy of hate, I’ve been avoiding the practice.
Do you see this dark shadow looming over all of us?
I’ve been listening to people who want to align with the light, rising above the world’s existential crisis, as I cannot get pulled down into the spiral downward any longer. This dark part of ourselves is the unconscious, the pain of ego, the cellular memory of pain, the unrecognized light of divinity.
The protestors, the politicians, most reporters, and the fuel of fear and anger are all the shadows. The biased talk, the misinformation, the outright lies, and sensationalism are all created on purpose — to keep us in fear and small.
The shadow represents parts of us that have been shunned and rejected. It also looks like judgment, anger, and blame. When we forget our own divinity because it’s never been allowed to act as we deeply want to but are afraid to, this is the part waiting to be good enough for love when we “act appropriately,” even if it’s aligned with darkness. And when we align with the darkness, we unknowingly disrespect our own true selves.
This may sound like spiritual bypassing, but it’s far from it. When we are on a soul’s journey, we begin to individuate, [Jung]. The ego wants to rule and defend, leaning into the belief that everything is separate. It doesn’t mean to bypass the pain but to hear it and share it as part of the whole because there is an underlying unity within all of it. It’s the human spirit.
Where we mess up is when we believe everyone has to do the same thing. The mob mentality takes over and is so pervasive and aggressive at this time in our lives. I won’t turn away from it nor will I join. I know where the truth lives.
“Taking part in someone’s cancellation and being part of an online mob may be exhilarating while you are receiving some social points- but it’s useful to remember that the same mob won’t hesitate knocking on your door when the time comes.”
– Africa Brooks
This mob mentality aligns with rage more than it does with peace and love. The truth is that we are all One. We are all individuals with unique paths and purposes, AND we are interconnected. We are all made up of atoms, molecules, and oxygen, giving and receiving life with each breath and constantly co-creating with nature.
Join me
Last year, I led a parent meditation group as a place of refuge for many are struggling with the relationships with their children whether they be deep in their own mental health struggles or have a special need. We all need to put our oxygen mask on first. We all need to give ourselves time to get back to the light that glows within.
What we are doing as parents is cosmically important! It has significance! We are behind the scenes staying patient, day after day in service. This service is for the betterment of society.
I have learned in my 22 years as a parent that the only way I can be effective is by healing myself. By growing spiritually as an individual through understanding, compassion and expansion. I want to live in a world where people are caring for one another in a vulnerable way and celebrated for doing so.
Every time I meditate, I am better for my children and all relationships. Everytime I learn from a teacher like Ram Dass about relationships from a spiritual perspective, I am better for my children and all relationships. We can only change ourselves by letting go of trying to control it all.
While we may often get stuck in the need for things to be different, to be outwardly perfect, achieving, striving, it is in the undoing where the perfection lies.
Your children are not your children.They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You don’t have to be a parent to join me. All are welcome.
Our mental health and mindset matter. Help me raise the vibration and stay in the light with me. Join me in the community to practice metta every Friday. It is a powerful practice, one that I have witnessed miraculous connections with, in particular, my son. When we shift our own energy, we can shift the world around us.
Metta - Loving-kindness (a.k.a. chesed) works like this:
First, we send loving kindness to someone we love dearly, someone who is easy to love. Next, we send loving kindness to someone we are fond of, followed by someone who is neutral in our lives. Then, we send loving kindness to someone who bugs us.
Finally — and this is the clincher — we send loving-kindness to ourselves. That’s the hardest one for a lot of us. I’ve noticed that it’s difficult because we often treat people we dislike much better than ourselves.
Meditation isn’t trying to stop your thoughts. It is learning the art of beginning again. —Sharon Salzberg
Thank you for being here with me. Namaste.
Shelley
Podcast on Spicy Soul Mama - Coming in June
I am excited to be bringing this amazing woman to my podcast. We met in an online writing group about six months ago and it felt like a divine connection. Energy across the Zoom is real. She has been a tremendous support in my life as a space-holder, grounded and real. I’ve been attending her new moon business circles where she guides us in quantum leaping and reframing our thoughts into realities. Kristeen is a magic-maker and I look forward to having her on the podcast. You can learn more about her here.
