Owning the Summer's Collective Joy
Inviting in the joy, mischief, pleasure and goodness despite it all
Frozen with anxiety at 4am, the layers of simultaneous thoughts circulated my foggy brain between dreams. I’m a zombie by 12pm later that day as I slap my vein, looking for the extra caffeine fix hoping I won’t regret it later when I try to shut it down by 9pm to get a good night’s rest.
Anxiety is common for us all. Some people shut down and sleep more and others may become short tempered at the slightest interaction. The range for dealing with anxiety is vast and unique for each person and I can attest that everyone has it to manage from one time or another. I’m not here to peddle a cure for it like a health magazine might but to consider this question -
What about taking anxiety with you when you are getting ready to leave the house or complete the next task in your day?
“Hello Anxiety, I see you there, making my heart race, my blood pulse, my inability to think clearly. It’s gonna be ok, Anxiety. You can come with me if you want but I’m going to get to that yoga mat and ask you to sit in the corner while I breath and do some sun salutations, ok?”
And that’s exactly what I did this morning, got up at 6:10 am, wrote my three Morning Pages which today encapsulated my anxiety-ridden dreams of a craft room with purple and pink materials, a book store in a house and a friend deciding to take a nap in the middle of everything, hello Anxiety, welcome, now let’s do yoga. My nervous system settled and Anxiety took her place in the corner.
Take a breath. Feel your feet on the earth. Notice the weight of gravity pulling you to the chair also pulled to the earth. Take another breath and drop your shoulders. Good.
I’ve been running a few different parent support groups, one for Mad in America which is a national organization with the mission to is to serve as a catalyst to rethink psychiatric care in the United States and abroad. This group is for parents who have children who have been in the care of a psychiatrist and/or in various in-patient settings. In this group we support one another in our plight as parents who are working to understand the system, various medications, how to potentially wean off of them, and how to best help our children. We close it with a meditation imagining our children encapsulated in a protective bright loving light. It’s essentially a metta (loving-kindness practice) where I notice the interaction with my son after shifts and opens.
The other group I run twice a month is the Ram Dass Parent Satsang where we gather to meditate, read from a Ram Dass teaching on parenting and discuss. Ram Dass merges spirituality and psychology in such a way that it commands a pause to reflect and apply it to our own lives. Sometimes we stay on one paragraph because it is so rich with wisdom. It is a safe space to employ active listening without judgement, to reflect upon our own realities and experiences with our children. We also close out with a guided meditation. The participants in this group are typically parents who have children of adolescent age and above and may have neurodivergent characteristics. While I did not seek out parents who have children in adolescence and above, it has emerged as a need. I find that we are all doing the best we can as we look to the wisdom of Buddhist psychology to find a new approach to guiding our children.
From my years of practice of curiosity, it began over 20 years ago at 3am with Wayne Dyer pacing the PBS stage combined with various experiences with Ram Dass and others, recent meditation training certification, earnestly staying on the path of practice, I am able to be that space holder for people. I am not claiming to be special at all, I’m not saying this to toot my own horn but to be say it with all earnest integrity of my own truth for my experiences are my own and it is what I have chosen to do with them - to guide and witness others. Being on the parental path can be one of expansion rather than one of expectations. (Want to check out one of these meetings? Keep reading, information is below.)
Here we are in the week of the Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere of the Earth. It is a time for renewal with the sunshine emitting vitamin D for longer days, for later dinners with loved ones outside, for an ice cream running down your arm, for sandy beaches and seashell collecting. It is our birthright to have joy, happiness, fun and laughter. It’s a time to see the world fresh and new again, to nurture your dreams, to find that edge of possibility, to dare to think with an open heart and mind. Every person as a light within that needs to come out and shine and you are no different.
I invite you to consider going to the edge of possibility, to use the summer’s light for renewal of your spirit, to be vulnerable, or to try new things with your own child-like wonder and a spring in your step. Find a quiet time to connect to your feelings and honor your emotional needs. Create a safe and nurturing space for yourself to retreat and recharge. Prioritizing a sense of emotional well-being will leave you with room to enjoy your life more.
If you want to find ways to hang out with me in this kind of a space, there are ways to do so - check it out below.
Thank you for being here and please don’t forget to press that heart and share if you found this newsletter beneficial.
with metta,
Durga
parent group and mental health advocacy updates
Mental Health and Education Training Bill Passes Senate Floor!
A few months ago, along with 60 other parents/caregivers, I went to Sacramento to advocate for SB 509 at the 3rd Annual Advocacy Day at the Capitol. We were able to meet with our district representative staff and discuss the importance of voting in favor of this bill. Our voices were heard!! The bill addresses the growing mental health crisis among California’s youth by implementing mental health education and training in schools.
“Healthy school environments are crucial to having healthy children,” stated Senator Portantino. “In order to prepare school employees to help our students with mental health challenges, we must provide them with adequate mental health education and training. When someone needs a Band-Aid for a wound, we give it them without hesitation. When a person is hurting inside, it is imperative that our campuses have trained personnel to direct that individual to the proper expert for help. That’s why we it is imperative to focus attention on first aide training for behavioral health and not just physical health.”
