"The Talk" from a Jewish and Buddhist (JUBU) Perspective
The evolution of hate keeps growing, looking to dharma as a place of refuge and activism
The dharma (an aspect of truth or reality) is a safe place to reside as a place of non-harming. The dharma explores the relational issue internally so that we can practice and learn from it on a daily basis. It is what has healed me over and over by practicing meditation on a daily basis. It continues to be a tool for me during this perilous and confusing time. Remembering that it is every human being’s birthright to joy and happiness is paramount during these times. Holding the both/and again and again.
Mindfulness and dharma are best thought of as universal descriptions of the functioning of the human mind regarding the quality of one’s attention in relationship to the experience of suffering and the potential for happiness.
— Jon Kabat-Zinn
When I opened my recent issue of “Spiritually & Health” magazine I was surprised when the title of the advice column written by Rabbi Rami Shapiro read “What is ‘The Talk’ that Jews have with their Kids?”
The non-Jewish writer asks Rabbi Rami what “The Talk” was that her friend was having with their 14 year old son in case he had a run in with the police. In Rabbi Rami style he was direct in his response,
“When we see Jews butchered in their homes, slaughtered at a music concert, murdered in synagogues and kosher groceries, assaulted in subways and restaurants, attacked by mobs at airports, and chased on high school and college campuses, the trauma we carry from centuries of Jew hatred is triggered, and we talk about who among our non-Jewish friends would hide us if we were being hunted by anti-Semites. Let your friend know that you and your family would risk your lives to protect her and her family—but only if this is true.”
Interestingly, I have not considered this to be a conversation to have with my kids and yet it is where many Jews globally reside today. It has always been embedded in my psyche to tell my daughter to tuck her Star of David into her shirt, even before October 7, when in certain public places like the train or airport or any place she is unfamiliar. And today, I wear the word “shema” (listen) around my neck in Hebrew which many have no familiarity but paired with my star, perhaps it will get some raised eyebrows. In other words, I’m pretty safe in my little world. I wear it with pride with a little chutzpah ready for the potential curious individual.
All I have to do is open up the news or Instagram and I am reminded of all the recent times when the “liberals” who intimidate and lump all Jews as colonizers and genocide evil doers pounded on the door to bully students who are told to stay in the library for safety. Instead of disbanding the mob who were acting aggressively, the students were told to hide.
Frankly, I’m fed up with these protesters and I work hard not to lump them into one bucket of ignorance hate.
In case you haven’t seen it, here are some of the hate havoc stories about in the world:
The White Stork synagogue, a historic emblem of Breslau’s Jewish community in Poland, has been defaced with graffiti labeling Israel as “criminals and murderers”.
The normalizing of the spike in hate crimes against Jews by people waving Palestinian flags is being undermined and ignored. Our lives have become second to their narrative. The hate of us for existing in one ethnicity presenting as anti-Zionists have crossed a line.
I know - free speech right?
Jewish people don’t have the freedom from the violence this free speech ignites.
It was recently revealed that Alanis Morissette, iconic singer songwriter, only found out that she was Jewish when she was 20. Her grandparents were survivors.
Let that sink in.
She didn’t know this part of her identity until she was a young adult. The trauma was so great for her Jewish grandparents that it made them feel safer to lie about their ancestral heritage in order to keep their children and grandchildren safe from the horror of Jewish hatred.
This is where we are today. All over again.
It just won’t stop. Day after day. The hate thrown at anyone who is Jewish. We are minorities making up 0.02% of the world’s population. I am still hiding this part of me in particular conversations where I am unsure of their stance. Plus, it is not all of who I am and I don’t want to be defined as such.
What we’ve been doing in the US over the last 20 years hasn’t worked. The woke propaganda is not working. What is happening is not liberal, it’s racist. It’s libel. I still believe in equality, clean water, food, shelter, health care, and women’s health care for all human beings and I won’t cast my American vote based on only the issue of Israel.
We have survived and will we continue to survive.
Liberal Zionists are finding our voices again. - Jay Michaelson
Liberal Zionists have reawakened. There is a growing articulation of this ambivalent, centrist position: supporting Israel’s right to self-defense, supporting some military action in Gaza, and yet opposing the extreme ways in which this war is being carried out. And for once, we are aligned with leadership in Washington.
We do not have to pick a side in this false dichotomy. We can both grieve for the victims and the hostages and also say yesh gvul, there’s a limit to what we will support, a line between legitimate and illegitimate, and this Israeli government is dancing on its edge. We reject the false choices offered by the far Right and the far Left. And after a period of silence, we are finding our voices again.
How can I bring this back around to the Buddhist practices of the dharma I have come to love over the last 12+ years as a place of peaceful activism, refuge, healing and community?
The Buddhists teach that we learn in a spiral. I imagine it like traversing the mountain with switchbacks circling up the steep side. We can climb it with awareness, knowing it feels familiar, like situations we have been in before. Climbing this mountain of awareness never goes straight up the side as it’s too steep and can be dangerous, it’s where mistakes are made. Each point of awareness and knowledge as we traverse the curvy side, we acclimate as the elevation increases. Each time we get higher on this mountain, we can choose to remember it’s familiarity with new awareness if we are paying attention. While we may get stuck, we can always stop, learn from the rough road and begin again.
It begins with our own self awareness, how we respond to this hate is a choice.
The more I sit in silence, the more I stop on the steep twisting path, the more I can hear. And the more I can hear, the more I can read between the lines of what is said. And with a peaceful heart I can hear the pain and trauma from both sides of Israelis and Palestinians. This is where so many fall short. We have a choice.
I believe there can be a two state solution and pray for the truth of history to arise.
In the words of one of my favorite Israelis, Eitan Chitayat, “I believe there can be a two state solution and pray for the truth of history to arise. The vast majority of Jews and Israelis never wanted this war to begin. I pray for more brave Arabs and Muslims and Palestinians to speak out and show the Jewish people that their narrative is more powerful than those who want to obliterate us - and we see them in the streets in the millions…. I yearn for strong Palestinian leadership and Arab leadership not just to get us to peace, but to also dismantle the infrastructure of hate that exists in the Muslim and Arab world against the Jewish people and Israel.”
May all people caught up in this strife of anguish, hate and pain come to life with healing and compassion. Our world depends upon people to be compassionate and non-harming for us to relate to one another even as we stumble off the path.
Educational Further Reading:
Other happenings:
Teaching in-person in Palm Desert next week.
