Tribalism Triggers
Daring to embrace the triggers after some meditation
Tribalism takes many forms at both individual and societal costs. It creates this “us vs. them” mentality which I have fallen victim to and tried to get away from. It contributes to fear and hate in our society. And this tribalism also can be seen as community, as it provides refuge and safety. It’s where we find common allegiances and ideas, where our behaviors feel accepted and where we feel belonging and trust.
What I am about to express is simply my experience in this changing world. It is not easy to find the words without playing the victim or without empathy for others’ existence. This is my experience trying to make sense of what seems so very disjointed. In a sense, I am a recovering far left leaning liberal who is finding her way back to center mostly because of the tribe I once aligned with.
This week, I received an email from one of my favorite non-profit art and music venues in Joshua Tree announcing their overwhelming successful shoe drive for the major surge of unhoused local individuals.
As I read further down the email all I saw was Palestinian flags and watermelons digital flyer showcasing a documentary film. I immediately felt a surge in my body saying that this was no longer a safe place for me or if I ever went there again I would need to keep my ancestry under wraps. I closed down the email before investigating, my fear beginning to boil.
Tears stung my eyes, feelings of being let down, angry, confused as to why this venue suddenly decides to be political outside of their community. I don’t recall there being any documentaries about Sudan or Myanmar lately.
“There goes another place I cannot support because they must hate Jews if they are showing this film. I’m not safe to go there now. I’m so disappointed,” my head spun.
I have fallen to triggering emotions when I see the very flag of the Palestinians equating Jewish hate. This was not the case before October 7. It has been catapulted into this fear mostly because of far left Americans and Neo Nazis aligning with their hatred.
Tribalism may seem natural, but it also causes us to be less interested in those who are different, or whose suffering we cannot relate to.
Trauma reinforces an instinct to turn away.
And this all occurred before I went to teach meditation to strangers, guests at the hot springs spa. This group of wide-eyed strangers all wanting to meditate and enjoy the natural hot springs, palm trees and sunshine surroundings away from the leaf blowing sounds of home. As I began my little dharma talk about what meditation was about and what we were going to do the emotion bubbled to the surface. I began to choke on my words.
“Well, here’s the practice in action,” I said to them. I have these little plastic candles that turn on and off, their “flames” change colors sporadically, consistently. “This is the practice, noticing the colors, seeing them change, knowing they will change, it’s all impermanent, like our emotions.”
And this week, finally some glimmers of what I hope is the true voices from Palestinians because they have simply been hostage themselves to their own government. Gaza residents protest against Hamas - IDF Arab Spokesperson uploaded a video of the demonstration, in which allegedly protestors called for the return of the Israeli hostages and an end to the war.
I did go back to that email to investigate further.
It is a 40 minute documentary showcasing some Americans and Palestinians enjoying some rock climbing despite the circumstances in the region. OK, cool, I love seeing people making documentaries to bring awareness and education. Maybe I will go and check it out, I thought. I know the only way to investigate my own tribalism and trauma is to learn about what I am scared of. My former synagogue has consistently brought speakers from other communities to share their traditions, culture and to bridge understanding of one another. I can do this too without the formality.
And the organization Friends of Roots, based in Israel/Palestine has been working hard prior to October 7 to create peace in the region one conversation and program at a time.
After I opened the email again, I found it was a benefit for Doctors without Borders which seemed quite benign but my mind wouldn’t let it rest. I wondered if Doctors without Borders was impartial like they say they are. I guess we can find anything if we dig enough. They have been ignoring Israeli hostages and Hamas terror. MSF (Doctors without Borders) has remained silent about the welfare of the hostages taken from Israel, who range in age from a baby of 10 months to people in their 80s and hold passports from dozens of countries, including the United States, Germany and Thailand.
How do we exist in the world without tribalism? Does it extend into victimhood and trauma?
It’s so important to have the awareness when to see the victim mentality arising as in fear which is rooted in the trauma. Consistently taking back the narrative from the trauma is crucial in healing. It begins with awareness. While I know there was a Holocaust where 6M of my ancestors perished and an equivalent on October 7, I will not allow these narratives to shape my entire life. I am aware, I grieve, I stand with my brothers and sisters and at the same time I will not succumb to the hate and fear my adversaries promote. I even have a tattoo on my inner forearm because I will not allow a group of people who would try to murder me for being Jewish rule my story.
The truth is being revealed slowly and steadily. And yes, I know Israel’s government is not innocent in all their dealings. It certainly isn’t helping our case of Israel’s right to exist. It’s the hate of Jews I’m working to get through.
The success of healthy tribalism is about finding the common ground within each group. Maybe it’s as something as soccer that brings people together or a love of pizza whatever it may be that connects the humanity between tribes.
The Atlantic has a piece on this topic, in summary:
“What many people call tribalism is not inevitable; rather, it’s a function of group norms. But the constant invocation of tribalism may create a self-fulfilling prophecy; people come to distrust other groups and falsely believe they need to discriminate against outsiders or suppress dissenters to maintain their status within their own group.
Understanding how group identities combine with norms to shape human behavior also empowers people—and especially leaders—to focus more on cultivating healthy norms within their group. Rather than assuming that groups will slide into hostility and insularity, humans should hold ourselves to higher standards.”
Coming back to my own values again and again through meditation and other practices is all I can do I suppose. And playing Depeche Mode’s “Policy of Truth” loudly on repeat makes it feel a bit rebelliously better.
Thanks for being here!
If you find value in this newsletter, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. You, the reader, are an important part of this exploration and I want to hear from you. Community and conversations brings our world closer together. There is nothing more that I want is for more compassion, understanding and healthy change in our world. It starts with each individual and takes one conversation at a time.
There are a few benefits to becoming paid. Click on the subscription button to see what they are and if you think it’s something you’d like.
Podcast updates:
ICYMI I have a podcast on this platform. It’s been incredibly fun to create and I invite you to have a listen. If you want to be a guest on the show, let’s talk!
On this show we delve into the identities and roles we play in society and how we connect them to our spiritual lives for authentic living. These are compassionate conversations for insight to our universal truths and what is required to heal ourselves and the world around us.
Spawned from curiosity, I connect with creators of all kinds, from visual to auditory, from wise elders to budding intellectuals questioning the world around them.
It’s my hope that these conversations will bring meaning to the world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming to spark some curiosity and plant tiny seeds of awareness so that we might all collectively learn, grow and remember our humanity and interconnectedness.
I’ve already had two fantastic guests:
Jay Michaelson an author/journalist - Moving from Judaism to Buddhism and what it means to be Human
Coming up on Identities: Roles to Souls:
Sarit Z Rogers, a somatic therapist who will tell us a bit about her story and what is somatic therapy. (February)
Chris Dyer, a Peruvian psychedelic artist who is a leading figure in the Northern American Visionary Art scene. Chris’ work is a bridge between spiritual and the street art and skate art movements. (March)