My Son and His Great Grandfather are Connected in Mysterious Ways
Father's Day and Conscious Parenting #2
Lately, I’ve been wondering if my Grandfather has become my son’s angelic guide.
My soft-spoken, often non-verbal son loves complex games, and he comes alive when he explains them. I’ve tried to play some of these games with him, but I’ve never liked games. It has nothing to do with this attention economy although now it likely is a culprit. My favorite games growing up were in the Highlights magazine — hidden picture puzzles, comparing two pictures and circling what’s missing, and other puzzles.
My son likes games like Risk or Magic The Gathering, or Dungeons & Dragons which never held my attention as they are for the patient, slow-moving, and strategic person, not my strong suits. I feel bad that I can’t connect with him on these games!
Baseball, another game that requires these qualities, has emerged over the last few seasons. Downloading the MLB app and knowing what place the San Francisco Giants hold, who they are playing, when the games are on, who is pitching, who has good batting averages, and more. So when prompted, or rather pushed, to pick a path to follow that was more than what he was currently doing, which was not much, he mentioned becoming a baseball journalist.
Where did this come from? I don’t know.
My grandfather, Poppi, was a quiet man who enjoyed games, particularly baseball, and was a sports journalist for many years. His favorite team was the Baltimore Orioles from the years he spent in Washington, D.C., working in the military in an administrative role. The colors of this team are also black, orange, and white. With a soft demeanor that also beckoned a roar at times, Poppi had this way of listening and responding with a specific intonation of saying, “Mmmhuh” when he agreed or acknowledged what you were saying.
So does my son. Every time he utters this, I think of Poppi.
He says it in the uncanny, exact way in his quiet demeanor. I don’t think he knows that Poppi was a sports journalist for many years for Amherst College, and I have many of his articles.
Is it possible my Grandfather is somehow guiding my son from beyond, or simply has the cellular DNA because of ancestry?
I have begun giving my son writing assignments about baseball to share with me. I have a general understanding of the game, of course, but there are things I want him to teach me.
What’s the difference between a manager and a coach? How many are there of each for the team? Are there coaches for each position in addition to pitching?
Who are the rising players this season?
Who are the star pitchers?
Are there strategies you see being played out, and do you think they should do something different?
What do all these numbers mean associated with each player?
I appreciate baseball for what it represents, yet to me it’s like watching paint dry, and the gentle sounds it emits from the TV are great for taking a nap.
I am working to follow my son’s lead to help him take his interests in the direction he has because it’s not up to me to fit him into the mold of society. And believe me, I wish he would stick with becoming an auto mechanic so I knew he would have a job and income to support himself. Maybe he will follow that path, but as a mother, I have to constantly surrender and not be his mentor.
I can’t be his mentor, and neither can his Dad. We can guide him, love him, and care for him, but there is too much tied up in our roles as parents and maybe too much history for us to be anything else. There’s the natural inclination of our son to say no to everything we often push him to do, and yet he is such a rule follower that he will do it to a point. At this age, young people know what’s good for them, and telling them what to do often backfires. It’s complicated.
It feels like I am hopping onto stones across the rushing waters, balancing on one stone to get to another without slipping. Leaning on the mysterious ways from other realms has given me so much solace and confirmation. It might feel drastically esoteric but what have I got to lose? There are signs everywhere, we have to get quiet and they will be appear.
It will be interesting to watch for more signs of Poppi from beyond, confirming all of this.
This Father’s Day, I’m thanking my Grandfather for showing up from beyond in ways he could not when he was alive in his body on the earth.
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