I grew up in a nominally Christian house. But when I entered high school my mom switched us to a very conservative, evangelical one...and it kind of messed up my life for a very long time. It took me a very long time to deconstruct so much of the twaddle I was taught from the really good principles that can also be found in that tradition.
"Let go and let God" and so many other similar sentiments failed me my entire life. I can't honestly point to a single answered prayer or event in my life that I could point to anything divine...and yet as we were talking about in support group last week, when I stopped expecting 'God' to do for me and my wife what he had commanded me to do for her....the last 16 years have almost seen 'miraculous' healing on her part...things the experts say isn't possible...and hopefully a radical transformation on my part to be a much better, kinder, loving man, husband and father...the kinds of things my faith tradition actually espouses and yet the things that so many of the 'spiritual sounding' sayings I was taught seem to do their best to undermine...if that makes sense.
I call myself a 'humanistic christian' now...which feels like heresy because of my religious training and like I'm going to be damned to hell for it....but I came to a point in which I realized I can't make God, the divine, whatever, act on my behalf...but I can be the kind of man who implements the Golden Rule and the biblical principles like self sacrifice, unconditional love, and more...and if the divine ever wants to intervene in my life, that's fine, but so far our healing journey with my wife has taken on the 'miraculous' even though it's just because I finally started obeying all those principles that get lost in what I came to view as the 'false religiosity' that I was taught for much of my young adulthood.
Does that make sense? Hope that isn't offensive to you or others. It's just where I'm at these days, and your title spurred me to think of that time when I deconstructed my faith to arrive at something, hopefully, that is better for me, my wife, and our son.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond, Scott. I think what you express is where I've been headed. I can't surrender to some unknown entity to act on my behalf either. I do believe that the Divine within is our unconditional love, kindness and whatever we reflect to ourselves hopefully benevolently. I do not care for this false religiosity either as I find it way too constraining and demeaning. It is such a personal thing and I am grateful for the conversation.
Hi Shelley,
I grew up in a nominally Christian house. But when I entered high school my mom switched us to a very conservative, evangelical one...and it kind of messed up my life for a very long time. It took me a very long time to deconstruct so much of the twaddle I was taught from the really good principles that can also be found in that tradition.
"Let go and let God" and so many other similar sentiments failed me my entire life. I can't honestly point to a single answered prayer or event in my life that I could point to anything divine...and yet as we were talking about in support group last week, when I stopped expecting 'God' to do for me and my wife what he had commanded me to do for her....the last 16 years have almost seen 'miraculous' healing on her part...things the experts say isn't possible...and hopefully a radical transformation on my part to be a much better, kinder, loving man, husband and father...the kinds of things my faith tradition actually espouses and yet the things that so many of the 'spiritual sounding' sayings I was taught seem to do their best to undermine...if that makes sense.
I call myself a 'humanistic christian' now...which feels like heresy because of my religious training and like I'm going to be damned to hell for it....but I came to a point in which I realized I can't make God, the divine, whatever, act on my behalf...but I can be the kind of man who implements the Golden Rule and the biblical principles like self sacrifice, unconditional love, and more...and if the divine ever wants to intervene in my life, that's fine, but so far our healing journey with my wife has taken on the 'miraculous' even though it's just because I finally started obeying all those principles that get lost in what I came to view as the 'false religiosity' that I was taught for much of my young adulthood.
Does that make sense? Hope that isn't offensive to you or others. It's just where I'm at these days, and your title spurred me to think of that time when I deconstructed my faith to arrive at something, hopefully, that is better for me, my wife, and our son.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond, Scott. I think what you express is where I've been headed. I can't surrender to some unknown entity to act on my behalf either. I do believe that the Divine within is our unconditional love, kindness and whatever we reflect to ourselves hopefully benevolently. I do not care for this false religiosity either as I find it way too constraining and demeaning. It is such a personal thing and I am grateful for the conversation.